Fifty Shades of Mayo
by ms300000
Summary: The wayward Vagabond never gets any love. This is simply a nice smut for him. I mean come on guys! Its about time! You welcome. ;)


The Mayor sits in his can town as content as can be. Nothing could possibly go wrong on a day like today. Recently your can population had doubled because the lady who sniffs everything found a hidden stock in the vents.

You decide to build a new house to shelter some of the new cans. Which ironically is how they are sheltered in the first place since they are the building blocks. You take great pride in your can city. After all your friends died or left this one thing has stayed a universal constant.

It has been a rather emotional time for you lately, but now you can just sit back relax, and enjoy your people. They always seem happier when you are around. Then again you've never seen them when you weren't.

You take a really white can labeled Doc Scratch. That's odd you think to yourself. You've never heard of a can named that before. All well, you think. You're sure he tastes just as good as the rest, and even if he doesn't, you don't judge your people.

You crack the can open with your handy CAN OPENER. By far the best present you have received curtesy of your biggest fan: Dave Strider.

As soon as the can is opened by the slightest bit… a huge rush of energy blasts out and knocks you into the wall. Ow, that really hurt, you think to yourself. "Oh I'm sorry young wanderer." A strange man with a giant white marble for a head says. "Oh sorry, you're not young are you? Well in comparison to me you are."

"Now I know you must be confused with your tiny pathetic, albeit cute, brain of yours." He continued, "but there has been a massive overhaul with the way things have gone. You see this is an alternate timeline as in were all doomed. Even though we are doomed, my mission remains the same. In this timeline I had to seal myself off from reality in a can, so that the exiled queen may open it and release me someday."

You are no queen but you'll have to do. My omnipotence has not made me picky. You see because there is no person breaking the fourth to kill me I need some sort of alternative form of energy release. This just happens to be sexual energies."

You start getting really nervous. This strange man is saying all sort of confusing things in that weird smug tone. He is also approaching you slowly. If marbles could smirk…

Doc reaches out his hand and touches your shoulder. Suddenly pain ripples throughout your body. You are transforming your realize in horror. You grow taller and your skin turns white. Breasts bulge from your rags and you feel something strange in your nether regions. What was going on?!

Doc, still moving really smooth and slowly, reaches across and unwraps some of your rags, then ties them to a pole behind you. You are too horrified to move. He takes your sash off and ties your legs to the pole too. Even though you just got this new equipment, this is feels really indignant. "If you don't mind I like you better in this form."

You were sure he was grinning maniacally in that marble head of his. His hands slowly start roaming.

This shocks your system enough to get you out of your paralysis. Unfortunately you find you are now tied up. You squirm as hard as possible trying to break free. This only seemed tighten the bonds that held you though. "Shhhhh…" said the man in total control over you. "It'll all be over soon."

He removes his shirt to your surprise he actually has a surprising muscular body. Not that you care. "How do you like my body. I programmed your new form to respond quite nicely to it. Although these are all formalities; it matters not in the end whether you enjoy this or not." He gets closer. "I know I will."

"It doesn't do me any good however if you aren't wet first. So let me get you into these new found sexual organs." He reaches below and fits his hand into your bed sheet clothe. His hand is cool against your skin. He rubs against something you didn't realize you had. You jerk under this new feeling.

"Shhh its okay. You'll get used to it soon." He said smugly. "Who am I kidding, no you won't. I'm going to need to be really brutal in order to summon him." This statement was oddly arousing. He pokes one finger into you.

The feeling is strange, but you think you enjoy it. You understand at this point that there is no escaping this man, for he is extremely powerful. That isn't the reason you are writhing. He groped your breasts with his other hand while rubbing your new vagina.

He pumps his finger in and out of you until your back arches and shakes as juices escape you. "That was your first time, so I'll forgive you for coming so early." You didn't know what he was talking about, but you enjoyed that immensely. You open your mouth and gasp for breath. You didn't know you were holding your breath.

You then realize a lot of things. You have blonde hair now, your new breasts have perky nipples coming out of them, and a whole lot of other things were different. Above all you were now turned on as hell.

"Now you'll find this next part slightly less enjoyable" he pulls down his pants revealing an eight ball on a stick between his legs. Even though you'd never seen that place of a man before, this didn't seem quite right to you. You also hoped that was not going where you thought it was going.

He didn't waste any time now that he was turned on it appeared. He rushed forward and plunged it into her pussy with so much force it seems a lot of stuff tore down there that wasn't supposed to. You screamed in pain. He holds it in there for a minute while you recover. "I apologize immensely for that. Just imagine it like ripping off a band- aid."

He held on to your back for support while plunging his long stick into you. You could feel the ball inside you. After the original pain it started to feel wonderful. You came sever times during this. You could tell his sexual frustration was growing though. "I'm not nearly there yet! Stop coming so much. Its distracting." He pulls on your hair and starts thrusting faster.

You are gasping for breath and screaming and writhing. It feels so bad and so good at once. You could never describe this feeling to anyone who has never tried it for themselves. He pinches your nipples and twists. He finally gasps as he comes too. Then he goes limp and falls to the floor… the eight ball still in your pussy.

He screams a quick thanks and an apology before long green limps explode from his white ones. After ten minutes of the most gruesome transformation ever, Lord English laid before you. You were scrambling now trying to get your bonds off. Finally as he is rubbing his head blinking, you get one bond undone. He starts getting up as you get the others off.

You know you shouldn't but you're new found female side forces you to. You check out how long his dick is. You are not surprised at all to find it being fricking huge. You store this new found information in your brain into the "I can't unsee that" section.

You attempt to run away but are very sore from that brutal rape you just experienced, especially since there is still a cue ball in your vagina. Lord English is now fully up and aware. He notices you wobbling away and grabs your leg and drags you back. "Where do you think you're going!? You have something of mine!"

He then plunges his entire hand into your vagina ripping it in half. He plucks the cue ball out and throws you against the wall. He licks the blood and juices off the cue ball and swallows it. "You taste good," he compliments.

You just lay there, bleeding out. The pain is unimaginable. You wipe your hand over your once vagina. It now is just skin turning dead and peeling. Blood is everywhere. You are in too much pain to scream. Your mind then proceeds to break.

After that much pain and losing that much blood logically the only thing left to do is put the blood back in you somehow before you die. So you scoop up the blood from the new giant hole you have and drink it up. It tastes so nasty. It is the vilest thing you've ever tasted. You keep drinking it.

"Oh that's disgusting!" Lord English yells. He quickly absconds.

That must be it then you think. You were sure you would have survived Doc Scratch. He didn't seem all that bad. All well. You had a good run. Your people will need a new leader. You painfully crawl back to your sash. Blood is stained to the floor from your ripped apart body.

Gamzee is sitting there holding your sash. You smile one last time. If anyone was to take over the town, you believe he is a suitable match. Maybe it will help him with his anger issues.

Gamzee reaches across and cups your boob. He squeezes it "HONK!" Everything then goes black.

ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg EnD! :0) I fUcKiNg LoVe A hApPy EnDiNg!


End file.
